CatStats

This is the beginning of a new series in which I tell you stats about my cats. Feel free to share your own pet stats.

CatStats

Food in:

1 Can Friskies Meaty Bites Chicken Dinner in Gravy

Food out:

3 pees

1 medium large poo

Times observed running away from imaginary gremlins:

5

Times not observed running away from imaginary gremlins:

approximately 100

Meows:

Approximately 100

…no wait 101 she just did it again

This concludes today’s CatStats. Brought to you by Friskies Meaty Bites ™

In other cat news, the best cat toy is CatCharmer by Cat Dancer. It is basically a string attached to a stick. Here is how you use it:

• Pick up stick
• Go near cat
• Wave it around
• Put it places

Also it is tie-dye. Cats love tie-dye because it reminds them of their favorite band, Phish…

…LOL that was a pun.

Ok time for a FUN FACT.

Have you ever seen an Asian Palm Civet? They look like this:

This image taken without permission from Wikipedia. Thanx Guys

“But Noah,” I hear you say, “That’s not a cat!! I thought this blog was about CATS!”

Shut up its pretty close. Also according to Wikipedia, this is also known as a “Toddy Cat.” That makes it a cat.

It looks like a little cat monkey. Not a big monkey like a chimpanzee but a small monkey like a spider monkey.

Anyway back to facts. These little rat-coons live in Asia. They range from Western India all the way through Southern China, and they are naturally found as far south as Indonesia. Whoa…I thought cats didn’t like to swim.
So here’s the cool thing (can you even get any cooler than a cat-monkey?)

Apparently these little (just got interrupted by cat she likes indian food wtf)

so like i was saying…these squirrel-foxes like to eat coffee beans a lot. So two things happen.

1) They are probably wired all the time.

2) They poop out a lot of coffee beans.

Now some weird Cambodian dude or Laotian lady or Indonesian tranny one day decided. Hmm I’m going to take these little cat-monkey turds and use them to make coffee.

AND OMG ITS RLY GOOD. So now people sell this poop-coffee for $600/lb. Coffee from Vietnam made by harvesting the poop of wild dog-gophers sells for over 1000 dollars per pound. Whoa.